Letter to a secret baby Momma

If you have found this post and you're pregnant and want to hide your pregnancy from the world, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sorry you are going through this alone, I'm sorry you got pregnant when you didn't desire a baby just yet, I'm sorry you don't want to tell your parents, friends, people at work or even random strangers, you must feel so overwhelmed. Let's not forget all of the emotions, pain and cravings that come with being pregnant anyways. Being prego isn't easy and I sure wish you had someone you could talk to who could help. Maybe, you'll let that be me?

My name is Linda, I'm sure you've gathered that much from being at my blog. No, that is not an image of me right there holding a baby in case you were wondering, just a random image of an illustrated nurse.

I wanted to write this to you because I wanted to tell you that I'm on your side! Yep, I don't know you but as a fellow female, I want you to succeed in life and I really really want you to be happy. I want you to know that you ARE loved, you are a daughter of God. That might mean something to you, or it doesn't but it means something to me, it means you're my sister and so I love you. You are worth it, you are worth every effort, every tear, every penny! You don't have to go through this alone, I'm here for you now. You can honestly just message me on Instagram or even text me at 801 .380. 5553 (no spammers please that's just rude!) if you want to and I'll message you back. I'll probably also suggest you contact a "real" counselor or someone who is a trained professional, since the furthest education I've ever gotten is High School and that was a super close call, cause I almost didn't graduate. High School was hard for me, OK! That is a story for another day. But for realz, I won't tell them your info, I'll just give you their info. Well, to save us from that back and forth here it is. Anonymous hotline for expectant mothers like you who are pregnant but might be trying to keep it a secret and they'll even answer other questions for you 866-458-0058.

I've been thinking a lot about you lately and trying to put myself in your shoes. I can honestly say that I probably know too much to really feel your pain, but maybe I can help you in some small way because of some of the things I do know. And listen, I know you probably don't have money to spend AT ALL and I'm not trying to sell you anything, just suggesting things that might help bring you peace of mind and comfort and let's be honest I'm the first person you're going to tell so you may as well listen, right? ;)

Did you know you can use a Heartbeat monitor from Amazon and hear your baby's heartbeat without needing to go to the doctor? 

I bought one with my first baby and honestly it's crazy how comforting it is. The doctor is expensive and if you're trying to keep your pregnancy a secret, then I would recommend you get one of these. Although, I don't know how you'd get one anonymously from Amazon. Maybe Walmart, CVS or Walgreens has one. Here's what it looks like. (Click on the image to see the link, I'm not an amazon affiliate or anything so I don't get cash from you clicking on this, just want to help.)

LANSOR Pocket 3MHz Probe Baby Monitor LCD Backlight, Listen to your Unborn Baby Sounds 

You'll also need some Ultrasound Scanning Gel or it won't work.
Ultrasound Scanning Gel

Did you know even married couples expecting a baby can have no money? 

I know you have negative money right now. I was broke even when I was married (8 yrs) and had our first baby because my husband had lost his job right when baby was born (not the best time to lose a job) and I didn't have a job either because I was so tired and too sick, so I quit my full time job when I was 10 weeks along and I even sold my business that I had been earning a second income with too, so yeah we both had NO JOBS and a house payment, and no insurance either. It was a scary time for us then too! It was a hard time but you're right, at least I did have someone who knew I was pregnant, I had my family too, and you haven't even told anyone yet so you're in a tougher spot for sure.

Did you know all pregnant gals get uncomfortable when they sleep?

You probably wouldn't be able to get this huge one cause that would be really hard to hide and probably takes up too much space under your bed anyways, but looks amazing right? I don't know because, even I couldn't afford to get one.
But maybe this one wouldn't be too big and let's be honest, my mom rarely if ever walked into my room because it was sooooo messy plus she worked so she wouldn't see it. If your mom does go into your room, then this wouldn't be too crazy to try and conceal somewhere. Maybe?

Get Belly Butter, it will help prevent stretch marks, I promise! 

Just rub on your belly before you go to sleep and after you wake up. But...honestly if you can actually hide your pregnancy that means you probably aren't getting big at all and maybe this tip really is only for those who can't hide their prego belly as well as you can. I bet that is a thing you never knew you'd have to do, and thats ok, I'll just have to share a different tip. Honestly, I gained like 60lbs when I got prego, there's no way I could have hid my pregnancies, even at 10 weeks my friend knew. Can we agree that she just needs to stop staring at my body?

Did you know there are baby drop boxes all over the world? 

I wish they had some of those boxes in every state and every hospital, they don't but in the U.S. they do let you drop your baby off at hospital anonymously. True fact!

This Is Monica Kelsey, a Volunteer Firefighter, Medic, and the Founder of Safe Haven Baby Box Project. Her Mother Was Pregnant Due to Rape and Kelsey Was Abandoned as an Infant. Click on the image to be taken to her site and learn more about those boxes.

This one is a Baby Hatch in Germany.

Used in Czech Republic and All Over Europe, Where Hundreds of Babies Have Been Saved.

The First Box in Indiana Is Incredibly Safe, with Temperature Control, Padded Interior and a Safe Locking Mechanism.

We may not have those fancy boxes for newborns across the U.S. yet, but you can still take your baby to the hospital.

Did you know 3317 babies have been safely surrendered to Safe Havens in the U.S.?

If you still choose not to tell anyone, a counselor or even adoption agencies or anyone at all, and I'm sure this is so hard for you, you can still take your new born baby to a local Hospital. They'll make sure they give your baby a checkup and won't ask you any questions. Just hand your newborn baby to a hospital person and just turn around and walk out. They won't ask your name, they won't arrest you, they won't judge you, they'll probably thank you. Well, I would thank you if I were there and give you a hug and take you out to get your fave treat because you've just given birth to your baby and been through a lot and somehow have kept it all a secret. Some women get to have their babies in the hospital and rest, but you didn't get that luxury. Remember, some people just aren't very kind or tactful and have no manners so watch out for them and don't take it too personal because after all we don't know what they are going through just like they don't know all of your struggles. Every State in the United States now has this law called Safe Haven which allows you to drop off your baby at any hospital anonymously. Click to see who you can give your baby to in your state.

Breathing helps a lot.

I always have to be reminded to breathe, but especially when in stressful situations. Just take a minute and relax and just breathe. Do something you like, maybe read, listen to music, dance, sing, color or just hang out with friends. This time in your life will pass and although you're super anxious about what you will choose to do, just relax, it will all workout in the end. Yep, peeps might be sad for you too and it will be hard for them to communicate their feelings because they will be overwhelmed too, believe me when I tell you, you are loved, no matter what!!!! Just give people time to take it all in and they won't fail you. We are all imperfect and imperfect people is all God has ever had to work with but he deals with it. If you don't believe me, tell your mom, your bestie and just tell them how you feel and they will hug you, probably ground you (but hey that's better than being on your feet all day), let you cry it out, and will still love you. It takes a courageous gal to hide her baby, and telling someone may seem harder at first than hiding your baby, but it will be the easier choice, the more people know the more that baby can be loved and the more support you'll feel. If you're not feeling that love, you have my number and you just LMK OK?! Honestly, no one should ever go through a pregnancy alone. I mean...someone has to go get you what you're craving! I can go and get it for you!!!!

Pray. Pray. Pray.

Last tip and most important in my opinion is prayer. It doesn't matter if you believe in God or not. Doesn't matter if your Christian or not. You are never alone in this process or any process really. You are a child of God and you're about to have a child of God. He's listening to you even more now! Of course Heavenly Father will answer your prayers. There's no wrong way to say a prayer, well.... unless you're my son who is 8 and is saying a prayer in his Batman voice. Not the ideal way to say a prayer but Heavenly Father still answers his prayers when he is being obnoxious so I know He'll answer you're sincere prayer in this time of desperate need. Make your choices out of love and you won't regret anything.

I sure love you friend, thanks for reading this letter made out of love just for you and I hope you're able to find comfort and love as you move forward. Thanks for letting me into a secret part of your heart, I sure hope you can share this baby news with someone soon so they can wrap their arms around you.

Helpful site: UtahSafeHaven.org  Anonymous Hotline: 866-458-0058

1 comment

  1. I am sorry you had to go through that horrible experience by yourself. I know how you have felt. Because I have also gone through those moments but could overcome because of correct gender selection natural process. I was depressed for not having a baby boy.